Soododo puts his soul on the line to barter
with the Devil for his life's blessings.
Satan not only listens, but accepts the deal he offers literally – his lust turns into his worst
nightmare.
The Prince of Darkness raised an eyebrow with scorn, What you useless human creature can do that I'd already known?
Soododo pressed forward with enthusiasm, offered, I could create a big event that will draw in plenty of souls – with minimum effort, corral into your dormain.
Satan moved forward, Soododo stepped aside – head bowed – in silence. With bated breath, waited. Pacing the floor, to and fro, Lucifer paused. Looked down from his towering height, You're late, Soododo.
Yes, my lord. With three previous failed rebellions it was not hard for the Archfiend to hold reservation on another joker that promised to get the job done.
Your task is not up to mark, the Wicked One said in a cold terrifying voice.
There's a threat here – the Good-Guy Upstairs is doing well with the people. Soododo winched at the thought of his archrival – God's appointed leader – whom he blamed as the big hindrance.
But, I have the numbers, Soododo forged onward. I've attendees almost filled to the brim in my Thursday 'Bye-blur' class. I taught them your 'Hi-toot'. A snort will send them to the Land of Delusion, aka the Land of Confusion. These fools believed the manifestations I performed – they were impressed.
The Old Serpent narrowed his eyes, with raised eyebrows, stared hard right into Soododo's, What's your game plan?
Almost all of them is in my hands, Soododo said with a tinge of pride, Just a few more weeks to wrap up – I will hand the numbers over to you. Your Evilness, my sidekicks – the Crow Couple has some new tricks to ensnare the gullible. The numbers are growing.
I'm not impressed by the numbers thingy. Any idiot can do better than this! What about the seasoned members? he retorted.
Your Loathsome, let me work on them, it's just a matter of time, Soododo said with confidence.
How about your nemesis?
His hands closed into fists, his cheeks flushed, his glare burning and grinding his teeth, Soododo unleashed his fury, slammed his fist down onto the table he demanded, who he think he is. I will put him down!
The Evil One stared at his piecing look that could tear everything in its path, said, OK, I'll not deprive you your eagerness. So, don't let me down on this. And, remember your part of the bargain...
Soododo nodded. Yes, your Hellishness, my soul is for your keep, he assured the Devil. But don't forget my life's rewards, just in case: Power, Money, and Dominance, Soododo waved three fingers in the direction of the Angel of Darkness.
He hadn't imagined the depths of implication to sink in. He heaved with relief and turned to go.
That isn't all, Soododo.
Soododo sighed – he knew he had to face the inevitable news. But the rewards are too irresistible – he's prepared. Sir? he said slowly.
You know the law, right? I hate to say it. Not only your soul... but your whole family too. Got it?
Soododo didn't want to hear it, but he has to know the payback. Lucifer patted him on his back, So don't disappoint me. Go, my faithful son...
Long story short. The battles rage on...
The Fourth rebellion squashed – March 11th.
Soododo, Crow Couple, and cohorts...
Disarmed.
The captives delivered...
They declared to Soododo: We're not your numbers! Neither are we the Devil's. We're God's numbers.
Your Evilness, here's the reports, Soododo couldn't stop his hands from shaking. I'm sorry, he managed in a trembling voice, I didn't think they'll turn against me, his knees wobbled, threatening to give way. Sweat dripped down his face in the still foul air of the dungeon...
We'd never seen anything even remotely like it.
Conclusion:
Soododo's numbers suck! They don't add up.
Fighting God – never a good idea...
...a forgone conclusion.
